Sigh.

I seriously, seriously, can't believe it. 2010 is coming to an end.

It.
Is.
Coming.
To.
An.
End.

2011. The year that I'm dreading. I can't believe it's coming.

Ah well~ I wanted to do some 2010 reflection(?) with my closest friends from 2010. Or (maybe) for 2011. (like Zhen Hui) But for Zhen Hui, I more of want to discuss about next year though :/ So technically, those people who I'm chatting to is pretty much important to me. But 2 is rushing homework so I decided not to disturb them. It's fine. One is watching tv. The other...my P6 friend...Well...I don't know. But we are talking about Ray ray's concert anyway :)

Ah well~ I'll do my own here.

Technically, this year was really interesting. Many things happened. Things that I didn't expect happened too. I became good friends with Evelyn, had this cold period, and slowly became good friends again. To say the truth, it may be rather hurtful that time but I guess it well...taught me something? And it shows that we are meant to be good friends :)

And for Jia Wei. She is my best bestie dearie in class. We were in the same class for 2 years. 2 years and we changed a lot. She...may not be the best friend I expected, but she was pretty much close to it. I like talking to her when it comes to certain things :) Hope we won't forget each other when we go seperate classes. :/

Okay, I really don't have much time now. Since its 2010 reflection, I should post this before 2011.

I've learnt alot this year. In many aspects. Quarrelled alot with my sister too (like today) and it was very...hurtful as well. But I hope she understands. Though I doubt it. Ah well~ My sister, will always be my sister :)

Since I can't get into a class with people I know, different class as Grace and Evelyn, the loner band member again. I hope God has a plan for me. That he is giving me a good start, so that everything goes well in my last 2 years of Sec school. I hope he has :)

Ah well~ I guess that's all for this year.

And this will be my last post of the year :)

I shall go down for countdown haha xD

Kay.

Now.

Is my ranting time.

What is it?

Ranting time (taken from Sherlene's dictionary) - It means having the weird and annoying mood when you just rant on anything that you think of.

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My first rant : The weather.

Oh noo noo. I don't mean that the weather isn't nice. It's superbly cooling and nice. :) And it makes me feel even more reluctant to go to school soon (depressing thought) Waking up at 5.30...haiz. Anyways, the reason I'm ranting is because it's gonna spoil my fan. When I on my fan, I feel cold. When I off it (which is the current state), I feel that the air is disturbingly still.

So what happened?

I turned on the fan. And off it. Than on (is it then or than? O.o). And off again. Well...it went on like these for about 10 minutes and later I decided to just off it since I won't die with the still air anyway.

Okay this is minor ranting.

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My second ranting: 2011

Okay so, this rant is gonna be pretty long because I'm mixing alot of things in. And I'm actually repeating quite a bit of what I said in my previous post. But yeah. It's a rant.

So tomorrow, which is in 40min time, will be last day of 2010.

31 Dec 2010.

The last day of 2010.
The last day of Sec 2.
The last day of me being from 2G3'10.
The last day of FUN.

Why did I say the last day of fun? Because when I'm in Sec 3 Dec hols, it will be going Sec 4 and with all those O levels preparation stuff, I'll be going bonkers.

And when school starts, I'll be mixing with a entirely new class. I only have Alicia with me. And probably Zhen Hui and Rongcheng. But I'm not exactly close to any of them... Okay fine, Zhen Hui is my best friend. But we have been seperated for 2 years. And it's really long you know. I hope we can become best friends like last time again :)

Okay ANYWAYS. Yeah, I'll be in 3C3. With a horrible BALDING CHICKEN HEAD as my form teacher (if the rumours aren't fake). That'll be SOO AWESOME =.=

Like knowing that I'll be the loner band member in class for 4 years is not bad enough.
Like meeting so many new people, not knowing my fate in class is not bad enough.
Like having new positions are not bad enough.
Like trying to make new friends and cliques is not bad enough.

Yeah. It all just ISN'T bad enough -.- What if I meet a b**** classmate who can apparently rule the class and she happen to not like me =.= Okay that's pretty stupid. But I do worry about all this you know. I'm not the popular type of girl but I don't easily attract enemies as well. Which makes me irritated. I am nowhere. And never anywhere.

Being the loner band member in class.When it comes to band, I'll feel so lonely. Not like I don't have experience.

Like, when we are suppose to leave the class, I have to tell the teacher myself and leave the class myself.
Or when we need to stay back for band and I have to find band people to have lunch with. It's troublesome because everyone ends at different time -.-
Or when we have extra band practice and no one goes lunch with you or (like the above point)
Or when we are suppose to sell tickets and you are certainly not the popular girl in class and you don't get to sell anything.

Yeah.

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Okay, this is suppose to be part of the second rant. But I decided to make things tidier~

So

My third rant: Stress

Stress on SYF audition
Stress on SYF
Stress on coping school subjects
Stress of band post interview
Stress on having the seniors leaving us next year

I feel so worried. Soon. We'll be having SYF auditions. And I really, really don't have confidence in getting in. It's true. I may be a Sec 2. But so what? My playings just aren't up to standard. I make mistakes all the time and not to mention the nervousness I'll have. If I don't get in this one, I don't need to get into SYF anymore you know :(

And the expectations from Mrs Chua and Mr Pek. For auditions. Am I not suppose to freak out?

Than, if I manage to get into SYF. All the trainings. And Mrs Chua. The band. Plus school. I think I'll go crazy alright.

Subjects. Triple science. Lit. True, I may have chose this. But I'm wondering if this was the right choice after all. Triple science. Lit. :/

Band post interview. Like I mention before, I don't really know what I want now. That's the problem. And its not that I didn't think about it hard enough. On the contrary, I thought ALOT about it. But I still can't decide what I want. And the thing is, I've never been to an interview. So, I really don't know what to do. What if I screwed up?

And last thing. The Sec 3 seniors (it's still 2010) will be leaving us next year.
Than we won't have seniors to shield us anymore.
We'll be the one shielding and teaching the juniors.
Everything will seem so different.
I wonder how are we gonna cope without them.

As much as I told Evelyn not to worry that they won't talk to us anymore, I do worry myself. What if they don't come back anymore? What if, we will not be so close anymore like now? The fact that now we are so bonded, I'm so afraid to lose it. I mean, sure they will talk to us. But than, what if everything becomes so strange and weird. Like, we did not met for years and suddenly met?

I don't like to shield people. I like protection. :(

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Well, that's for today. Judging by the length of the post, I doubt anyone will read it. Plus, only 3 people have access to my blog now 8D And I took really long to post this O.o

Okay~ Off to brush teeth~~

Sigh. How I wish I have a gift for dancing. I mean, any kind of dancing is fine. No matter its the slow type or hip hop, they are all beautiful when you see others dance right? Dance is another art I wish I could master. Haiz. Too bad, I don't have talents for that or any other things.

Developing talent is one thing. Having a gift is another thing. And lastly, time. =.=

Ah well~~~ School holidays are over so fast. So fast, mon of the last week is over. Sigh. How I wish I had all the time in the world and it's within my control :(

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Anyways, today had band~ And woke up super early which made me sleep a while during combine :( But I was awake soon enough :D 5.30 wake up leh, not my fault~

Oh yeah, I met Joan Chua in Redhill mrt in the morning. And she smiled to me BUT I happen to meet her eyes and because the clock was right on top of me, I looked up to see the time (weird reflexes). Which worries me alot. Because, I don't know if she might think I was rolling my eyes at her or ignoring her :( It'll be so disrespectful :(((

Had rehearsal in the morning~ than went for sectionals and Mr Pek came at 10~~

Ah well~ Lazy to type~~ I'm sleepy *yawns*

Why do I like sleeping? Because only when I'm sleeping, I don't need to face others. I don't need to face the world. I don't need to think about anything. It's the most peaceful time I have.

Yepp, I did it again.

I just deleted a post. I realised that writing here probably won't help in making me feel better. So nvm~ And people will feel me as this negative, irritating person (which is what I actually feel of myself. =.=) It doesn't matter anyway. But it was not that reason that I deleted it. Well...I just got irritated with trying to hide it so I just deleted everything~

Anyways, Audition is getting freakishly boring. Maybe it WAS already boring from the start =.= And the thing is, I feel that I should do something constructive but yet I can't bring myself to do it. So, I feel so contradicting. That's how annoying I can get. To myself anyway.

Well...I really don't know what to do now...:/

Yeah it's Christmas :)


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! :)



Despite those depressing stuff I write about Christmas below, but still, Christmas is enjoyable :D

It's His birthdayyy ^^ Going church was somewhat awesome :D Although this sounds really..holy? But than I felt something...special there. And it felt really great to have that feeling :)

Anyways, after that, my family went to IKEA at Queenstown to browse through the furnitures for my new house :D Okay, it was not bad, we spent 2hrs+ there but I got pretty bored after a while~~~ So after that, we went over to Anchorpoint to eat lunch. Went to a Hong Kong style restaurant there. The food was OK but it was really filling =.= I felt like puking after that~

Okay, than we continued shopping for a while there (it's not like there's much to shop but it's always good to walk a while after eating ^^) And I happened to chance upon a Artbox-like bookshop. And...it was a wrong wrong choice to go in. Why? My sister ended up buying a SUPER-DUPER expensive notebook. But fine, it was special and nice.

BUT STILL.

I bought something too 8D But it was exactly half the price of hers =.=

After that, we went home and I slacked till now.~~~~

Christmas isn't that bad. But I wouldn't say it is FUN. Oh yahhh and and and, we had an open present ceremony at 12am today hehehehe xD It was awesome ^^ Very interesting. I thought my present was that and it. But my Dad, Mum and Sis all gave me a surprise present :D My dad gave me a computer mini speaker (which I actually DID want), my mum gave me a box (very cute ^^) and my sis gave me a keychain made by herself. Well, she gave extra keychain to everyone actually. But still, it was cool :)

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And now, I'm learning (or trying to) learn a new piano piece. It's really nice :) I can't stop listening to it on Youtube. And I get so pissed because those people can play so well :( If I say I am Grade 5, no one will believe :((((

So, I decided, I shall consult my piano teacher tomorrow 8D But the bad thing is, she doesn't really TEACH the song. She just play once, remind you here and there, and its done. I really want her to teach me this song :( And plus, now I should be starting my piano exam piece. I wonder if she will get pissed if I ask her another song...

Haiz.

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And I guess I won't be having a nice dinner today since I had one last night~ Ah well. Life is boring as usual but still, I don't want the new year to start.


It's scary :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLADYS DEARIEEE!!!!



I bet you are enjoying yourself in Japan BUT DON'T


FORGET TO BUY SOUVENIRS BACK!!!! 8D



YOU ARE FINALLY 14. OLD ALREADY HEHEHEHEHE

Yayy 36 min more to Christmas!!!

Yeah...Happy Birthday to Jesus (: All the present and stufft too 8D

But...that just marks the end of 2010. I don't know why, but just the thought of the new year 2011, it just makes me so stressed and irritated. Why a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year? I don't even feel that New Year is meant to be happy. It just starts the whole year of stress.

Especially next year.

Just talk about events.

1) SYF Audition
2) Limelight
3) SYF (if I can even get in)
4) Piano exam
5) Interview for Band post (I can't even decide what I want to be)
6) *Secret*

And other than that,
1) New class
2) New friends
3) New subjects

What am I suppose to do :(
Why can't I just be stuck at NOW. And never move on :(

Why must time pass so fast. It's unfair. Why does school pass so slow. Why do I grow older and older so quickly?

This sucks. And I really don't have the courage to face everything next year. I think I'll just crumble into pieces or something.

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Okay but since it's Christmas Eve, I shall not talk more about those depressing stuff. Christmas should be merry :) Well, today I practically watched shows throughout the day because my sis was rushing to watch finish before my school start again. But now she says she want to start a new show and I was like, WHAT?!

Than my dad brought us out for lunch, after that me and my sis went to Cathay Cineleisure to buy MUAH's present :) But the annoying thing is that, the two I actually really reaally really liked, was out of stock =.=" But because it was meant to be a CHRISTMAS present, my sister insisted on me buying something there or she won't buy anything =.= But okay lah,the one I bought wasn't that bad :)

Next next, after watching finish the whole drama series, my family and I went to Sakura to eat dinner :) It was nice (since we didn't go for a long time) but alot of food there changed. But it was still alright :) I ate a little of almost everything hehehehe xD

Okay, I shall go brush teeth first~~~

OH YAH OH YAHH!!


Nvm~~ Next post

I h___ my sister when she take things from me without my permission. Worse off, she don't even BOTHER returning. When I finally realise it's missing, I went to ask her, why? Because she was ALWAYS the one taking it without asking me. And when I demanded WHY she took it without permission, she acts ALMIGHTY AND RIGHT thinking she was NEVER in the wrong and she simply said "You were not home". Wow, I didn't know we were living in the stone age period where there's no handphone. She doesn't even say sorry. And when I ask her why she didn't return after TAKING it, she simply said "Oh I forgot." If I ever do that, she can never blame me.

Yayy!!! I finally finish my homework

Yepp. ALL MY HOMEWORK (:

Okay, I was suppose to finish it a loong long time ago. But since I slacked alot...

STILL,I FINISHED LALALALALLA~~~~xD

Okay, I have to plan. Next week (which starts from tomorrow), I'll revise my Sec 2 work - Maths, Science, Eng, Chinese. Yeah, the 4 main subjects. It'll be best of course, if I finish my revision in less than one week.

Than I'll start on my Sec 3 stuff. Anyways I have nice seniors I can ask (: (Provided I actually finish my Sec 2 stuff)

I have to. I really have to.

The competition next year is gonna be great. What, with the Chinese scholars? Haiz. But more of it, it's like a competition for myself. It's either do it great or drop all the way to the back.








I have to.






Well, one thing I'm pretty pissed now. My Audition needs redownloading (I wonder why do I even BOTHER =.=) And I have tried like 3 times?!?!?!?! But the downloading keep having problems. It's seriously pissing me off alright. Zzz.

Kay off to brush my teeth~

There's band tomorrow :( And without Evelyn to accompany me in Singapore Flyer >'(. Hmph. I'll make sure she returns with Christmas present for me as compensation bleah. And she still owe me a dare.

Haiz...Band starts tomorrow :(

Why do I have the reluctance to go for band tomorrow??? :( It will be worse when school starts. I'll become Sec 3 and everything starts coming.

The new class.
The new subjects.
The people that I have to try mix in with.
The new enviroment I have to adapt to.

And band. I don't even want to think about it.

SYF?
Auditioning for SYF?
Thinking about the post I should apply for?
The interview?

Haiz.

I feel so worried for SYF audition. I can't tune properly. I can't tongue properly. I really have NO confidence. :( And the worse of all, Singapore Flyer needs LOTS of tongueing and tuning. The 2 things I'm most weak in =.=

I just hope the Earth would stop spinning. Stop stop stop.

And tomorrow Evelyn isn't coming for band :( Abandoning me for Singapore Flyer >;( Jae Young better come... Bleah.

Ok, I shall go finish the last bit of homework I left. Haiz.

Sigh. I hate these moments where I know I have something to do and yet I can't do anything.Than I'll feel totally stressed and freaked out.
Now, I'm left with Chinese Gong han and Lit.
To be fair, I did a little of each already.

But Chinese I'm stuck. I'm. Totally.Stuck.

I am trying to squeeze every ounce of my brain juice out. I hate it when I leave things half done and I'll never get the I've-completed-all feelings. It's annoying. Frustrating. Stressful.

Who can understand my stress now? When it's mix with everything else.

Why can't time just stop. Even if doesn't stop, can't it slow down?
They say time passes fast when I'm having fun.
But this whole week, it was a total bore for me.Other than today where Tilda came.
I spent LOTS of time on homework. (Okay actually not SO MUCH of time. But my mind was set on doing homework so I counted it in as well.)
But time still passes so fast.

It's a lie.
Time passes fast as long as there isn't school.


I don't like a new start.
For me, I prefer a familiar ending.

Okay~~~ I really HAVE TO STOP SIDE TRACKING LIKE THAT.

My homework my homework!!!!!

But anyways, edited my playlist a little :)

...

Okay, back to homework

I guess I shall change my password to an easier one soon.

Since I deleted some posts already.

Anyways, looking back at my old post last time, is really interesting on how much I changed (: Just look at the language I used last time and now xD I wouldn't want to say I became OLD (but someone actually told me I look older than I am which is totally NOT a compliment =.=) but probably more of...influenced? Ah nvm. I still use slang cum Singlish but not as much (or try to xD)


Next next. Today, went out the whole day. Thanks to my sis. =.= I went all the way to Marina Square and went to IMM with her JUST TO FIND HER stuff and in the end, we came back with nothing. You see, me and her wanted to do something for Christmas for family but we can't seem to find what we want. Why did I say HER? It's because, it wasn't much of a need for ME to go since I had something like that already. (She came out with the family thing later on).

To think that thing was actually so common when we didn't need it. =.=

And I got nothing from shopping but a very pain and sore leg. zzz.

And another thing. Untouched homework. Great. Simply great.


1) I didn't finish reading my The Chrysalids (which means I can't do Lit)
2) I don't know how to write 表扬公函 or 演讲实用文 (so I can't finish my Chinese paper 1)
3) I don't understand what on EARTH am I suppose to do for English part 1 (which means I can't finish english homework)


The only homework I can say done is Maths. And even maths is not done =.= I don't know how to do a question or two. Hmph.

Okay, I'm currently trying to do my chinese paper 2 but judging by what I am doing NOW , it is pretty obvious how it is going huh.



The holiday is ending.




What am I suppose to do?