Okay I shall make this really quick since I'm in a desperate need to sleep.

So.

Today was fine. But a little...I don't know.
My headache was worst than ever.

So after Bio class which was the last lesson, I was debating whether to take a quick nap like 10min, or go for band straight.
And obviously, I went for band straight.
Which wasn't a very smart choice.
Because my head felt like it was gonna burst when someone was playing beside me and me myself could not even feel my own lips.

Argh.

But I guess it wasn't so bad after a while.

And we watched this motivational video thing. Which reminds me how near SYF is drawing and our playings...I really don't know.
I don't even feel that we can get a silver. :(

So, buck up Sherlene.
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I realised, I am not exactly readable.
I don't even know if it's good or not.

I don't like to show people my weak side.
I don't like it when people fuss over me.

And yet, when I see people fuss over others, I'll be like "Why doesn't it happen to me?"

So, it's really contradicting.
Like, I want people to care for me

But

I don't want.

Argh. Okay I dont' get what I'm saying either.

Okay, I'll say I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings and thoughts.
Its kinda cool actually, other then the fact that you get less attention from others.
But I can live with that since I probably...got used to it?
I feel like I'm some attention whore who doesn't like attention.
So...

Yeah.

Okay I shall go sleep now~

Argh.

Now, come to think of it.
Some stuff I said were really stupid.

Now I understand how the seniors felt last year :(
Like how Tha Yang felt when she said she is so embarrased and don't know how to face the seniors.

Arghhhhhhhhh.

Yesterday it seems fine to me.

Until now.

Sigh.
This sucks.
Like, really.
Some of my answers are really stupid.
I mean, there isn't right or wrong.
But it's just plain stupid.


Zzzz.

Okay despite not wanting to think of the interview anymore...it just doesn't get off my brain.
How?

Or probably my brain was being fried due to fever so I can't think straight.
Naw, doubt so.
My fever wasn't that bad yet.

Nvm~

It's over anyway.
But I'm so NOT looking forward to the results.
Because it means that the Sec 4s are stepping down.
And how in the world am I gonna survive.

:(

I can't even imagine life without them.
Really.
Like, bargaining for longer breaks.
Asking questions.
Gossiping about juniors and teachers.
And discussing about the fines.
Or complaining about the parts we are playing (though it doesn't really occur that often. I think)

Etc etc.

How?

Okay, maybe all those above, some really makes the seniors annoyed.
But it was something I enjoyed.

Should concentrate on SYF anyway.
Not think about it now.
And let their last performance in band be a really enjoyable and meaningful one.



:(

I'm a nobody.

And will never be anyone.

Okay, I've changed my password. It should be safe for the moment.

Anyways, life is really, really sad right now. Holidays are NOT holidays at all. Teachers who actually said, "Have a good break" and simply being sacarstic because it simply meant, please do you homework and revise.

But that's not exactly sad.
What I meant by sad is like, literally, my life.

Now in class, I can't seem to find a good friend whom I can rely on. Like, there are people who are nice. But they have their own cliques. And of course, there are people who are NOT nice, which I still have to stand them.

So, yeah, life is sad.

I miss G3 badly.
I've never hated G3 before.
But now, once I step in to school, I wish school will end as quickly as how my sleeping time passes.

Sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And just a few days ago, I was being emo. *Probably because of ERHMMS* But I got irritated with people, like, I'm not existent to them. And I hate it when people THINK I won't be angry and just simply vent their anger on me. Okay, I'm so sorry to those people but not showing it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

So, people who are insensitive, will never become my good friend.
They are just friends.

Another thing, people do say that, Be Yourself (not to me lah, but yeah). So, I'm really not sure if I'm being myself. I think I am, since I don't feel like I'm acting in front of anyone else. But, I really don't know. Sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Band stuff.

I think up till now, the Sec 2 juniors are still pretty rude.
I mean, it changes, but the rule of respecting and listening to your seniors still stays.
And yet, they don't.
Argh.
How I wish they went through a longer time of Jimin =.=

And the Sec 1s now.
They are simply annoying.
Like, really.
I suppose I'll have to accept them sooner or later.

But I'll choose later then.
They have to prove to us that they are worth accepting.
Or....

MUAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Okay, but I'm serious.
If Evelyn becomes the SL, I'll tell her to do so 8D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last thing,

I've notice this very irksome thing and I'm like, really disgusted.
I hate this type of people.

Argh.
__________________________________________________________________

Undecided.

Sigh.

At times like this, finding a person to seriously talk to
is hard.

I mean, I just need someone to be there for me, hear me talk, understand me and teach me what to do.
But well.
I suppose I'm used to it.
Or at least, trying to.

There are so many things I wish to just pour out and yet, I don't know who or how to.
It's so...contradicting.
Sometimes I just wish that the world will pause there or I could just hide in my room and not face the world ever again.
It's not because I did anything wrong or what.
More like, the world is simply too scary out there.

What with 2-faced people, people who think they are the high class ones, selfish people etc etc.

For people who simply think I'm too low class for them, I would just tell them, get out of my life. I don't need them if they do realise.

But then, people will tell me,

welcome to life.

Okay, I seriously don't know what to say right now. My mind is pretty much mixed up with everything else.

Whatever.

__________________________________________________________________

Today is probably the worst Friday I've had this year.
Not because I had to stay back all the way till 5 just for one phototaking when I could have gone home at 12.30

It was because many things happened today which made me realise a lot of things.
And those things were unpleasant but pretty much important.

And while I was thinking on the way back, I think I was pretty much in a daze.
Guess what?

While walking on the pavement, a bicycle came by. I wanted to move more to my side which is to the left. However, there was this blind/deaf woman who was standing on the right. So, it doesn't make sense if I move to the left because the bicycle won't have enough space.
So, I was hesitating which side to go.
And I bet that stupid cyclist thought I was so blur that she had to ring the bell before I knew how to move out of the way.
And not only that.
When she went pass me, she rolled her eyes at me.


She freaking ROLLED HER EYES AT ME

Seriously?

But to say the truth, I was pretty much in a daze thinking about stuff which made my reaction slower. But eh, she didn't have to do that right. =.=

And when I went in to the carpark, I almost walked right into a moving car that was going down. I didn't notice a car was there at all. Like, it was camouflaged or something.

So yay.

Within 5 minutes, I almost got ran over by a bicycle and a car. =.=

Okay, it's 12 and I haven't done a single homework for the day.
But whatever.
I'm gonna sleep.

Okay, I've decided to censor some parts because

I can't do internet bullying, it's illegal.
Okay, it wasn't exactly internet bullying since practically no one comes to my blog.
And I didn't exactly scold anyone or what.

So, yeah.

Just in case, someone else hacks into my blog.
Though it's highly impossible.

But to say the truth, just a few months later, I would have forgotten what I've typed at the censored parts.

Ah well~~~
________________________________________________________________

Now, I shouldn't be side tracking. I've only completed like less then half of my homework since 12. Argh.

But I still don't have the mood to type about OBS...
Not because it's not memorable or what.
But more like, the thought of school now is...
Depressing?
Saddening?

I don't know...

and about Band exco interview.
Sigh.
Another burden.

Zzz.

Whatever.

Back to work.

Yay. I survived OBS.

Okay but for now, I really don't have the mood for anything.

I don't feel like packing my new room which is in a total mess.
I don't feel like going to bathe even though I just came back from a total dirt place.
I don't feel like sleeping though I am in a desperate need to sleep.
I don't feel like thinking about projects and homework.
I don't even feel like using the com.

I just need to talk to someone NOW.

Sigh.

I'll post about OBS later.